Emotional Support and Cancer

Life with cancer brings along a heaping pile of excess baggage. It is not just a physical health challenge. It is not only physical changes at a cellular level. Cancer changes us at our core. It reaches deep inside our psyche. Cancer is like the devil on our shoulder feeding us words of fear of self doubt. It tricks us into believing we are no longer whole. It makes us question every bit of our identity and being. And, just like the 5 stages of grief, it is not a linear healing process. It is a tangled web of emotional ups and downs that could drive anyone to the point of despair.

I consider myself to be an individual who is constantly striving to be more self-aware. Personal growth and emotional intelligence are strengths I hold dear. However, when cancer came into my life, it was if it choked all of my inner strength in it’s fist and said, “Ha! Here. Hold my Beer.” Just when you think you have a hold on life it can kick you in the face.

So, what did I do about this new found test of my inner strength and grace? I searched for answers. I searched and searched for emotional support for the strength to rise above and live whatever time I have in this life to the absolute damn fullest. This turned out to be a much bigger challenge than I had hoped for. Have you ever been so determined to find an answer to something that you literally google and search the web for anything that resembles an answer to put your mind at ease? At the beginning of my diagnosis and still to this day, I am still seeking some sort of glue to fill the emotional whole that cancer has left. The resources just are not put in place for emotional support for cancer patients.

As I write this, I am anxiously awaiting my follow-up appointment with my oncologist. My recent scans and liver biopsy have shown that I have new liver mets. My emotions and mental health are shaken like a tornado once again and I am tired of the absence of support for these endless cycles of grief and fear. Something needs to change. Mental healthcare and emotional support should be at one with other aspects of caring for a cancer patient. It is absolutely necessary and the humane answer for supporting our quality of life.

As I wait for the upcoming appointment with my oncologist my head spins with wonder at what treatment plans I will face. What new side effects will come along with it? What will I sacrifice being able to do that I love because of it all? Stage IV needs more. Reach out to someone you love that has cancer and hold them close. Because, they need it more than you can ever imagine.